Wednesday, March 6, 2013

In need of a mentor

So, what I really need is a mentor. Someone to show me the ropes when it comes to gardening. I want to do as close to an organic raised garden as possible. I think I can plant the seeds (time will tell) but I would love to have my very own seeds for next year as well. There has to be a way...there just has to! I purchased some seeds from Gurney's (and I wish I had waited-because I could have gotten Organic seeds for the same price through a different company...) I simply did NOT know there were more companies out there-all I had ever heard of was GURNEY'S... I really want to know what to do. I don't know how many plants I need. I don't want to go and BUY actual plants-I want to be a part of this process start to finish. Everyone I know says "buy the plants"...but I want to do it! I want the satisfaction of knowing they are my babies...and they will grow and feed my real babies. I look outside at the mounds of snow-and am wishing for spring! I want to start my garden. I keep hoping my taxes will show up so I can get a small green house and get started! Our house seriously lacks windows-so starting indoors isn't really an option. I also cannot afford to do grow lights unless we get alternative energy. (R.E.C. is EXPENSIVE)
I have never had a big garden before. I have grown tomatoes...and some flowers...but honestly, I think that is all. We eat pretty darn simple right now. Meat (venison-free meat!!), chicken (cheap meat), organic rice, potatoes and VEGGIES! I don't buy boxed (crap) food. My indulgence is Skippy Natural no stir peanut butter...can't live w/o it! We also buy organic blue corn chips for salsa-but we do not really eat "junk". Once a month I will make GF cookies or brownies ( I am a woman people-and I am trying to not do this at all...but cut me some slack!) My big kids do not handle sugar well at all-the oldest bounces off the walls from one piece of candy/ it is not a "normal" thing in this house. I NEED this garden to be a success as I only purchase ORGANIC tomatoes and veggies-not only is it expensive-I cannot justify spending 100$ on canned tomatoes at one time so I am left running to the store once a week. I need my own veggies. I need a BIG garden. I want it pretty and functional. I have NEVER canned anything in my life! I don't want to ask for help from family-I want to get it figured out...if only I had friends to show me the ropes. (Canning and gardening doesn't seem to be "normal" for 25-30 year olds right now...
In all honesty, my father would be the PERFECT person to show me the ropes on canning, gardening and self sustaining. He is good at all of this stuff...but we don't talk. It sucks, because I look at my plans...and my kids...and I wish we had a relationship! After all the crap we have been through...I wish we could work it out. As much as I want to hate him for what he said-(he can't love me unless his wife likes me...)I love my dad...I am more like him than anyone else in my family and it scares me. The only difference-i would never put anyone before my children-not even my husband. My son looks so much like my makes it so much harder. I haven't talked to him in YEARS...but if he was willing to go out of his way to meet my kids and have a relationship-I would do it. My kids love to shoot guns and the bow and arrow. They love to fish. We eat Venison and cook in a cast iron man on our wood stove...I am trying to live a simple life (haven't worn make-up in a few months...) I want my kids to appreciate the earth and live a somewhat simple life. My father would be a good mentor...if only...

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