Tuesday, June 4, 2013

100% × 10....?

so I really wanted my next post to be about how everyone says it takes a village to raise a child but yet it feels like you end up doing it alone. Nobody really truly wants to help. Sure they will take your kid for a day and load them up on sugar or let them do crap they wouldn't normally get to do at home so when you get them back they're little heathens, but they don't actually help.

right now my mind is a mess kind of like my house and everything around me. I got the acceptance letter for my oldest to do the virtual school where they let you choose your own curriculum and they pay for all of the extras that you need. Sounds like the perfect situation, it is turning out to be the perfect situation for me to have a panic attack.

 Ever since I got the letter I have been nothing but moody and short tempered. I don't have a clue what I want to order. I know how I want to teach my children I want to use the Robinsons curriculum, where they do math, reading, and writing and they learn their social studies and all of that other stuff through their reading.

 I am planning on supplementing with things that interest them. I know I would like to look at a calendar and pick out all of the fun and not so fun holidays and have the kids do little project based on those, because let's face it my kids love to craft.

 I hate PlayDoh and paint and all other messy things, because nobody seems to clean up or put it away other than me.

I wish I was the perfect mother who enjoy doing the things with her kids but I am NOT.

 I do not know how women use to do everything with a baby at their side.

 I am sick of being told to put my child down and let him get used to being alone, there is nothing normal about that.

please explain to me why it would be okay to let a 9 month old scream because all he wanted was his mommy but she needed to clean the floors.

I have realized that I need help. (and I am getting sick of people saying well duh we know you need help)

Before, it would hurt me to say I need help. Well, now I just feel stupid because I am saying I need help and nobody really wants to listen. I cannot give 100 percent to being a mom, a cook, a maid, a friend, a wife, a teacher, an accountant...I cannot give 100 percent to all of those things and still be me. I know I know moms stretch them selves thin all the time... if I keep stretching I should just disappear! I cannot be 100 percent at everything. So you either get me really good at 1 or 2 things you get me a mediocre at three or four things or you get me a terrible at everything. So far I feel like I suck at everything.


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