What goes on in our life, is not a direct reflection of our parents! We are our own people, adults, not one person with several heads.
Do I ever feel how I was raised has an affect on how I handle situations in life, yes, I'd be lying if I said no. I will not let my adolescent experiences dictate my life, I will not follow in every footstep my parent made...it would be foolish!
We often look to our parents for guidance, and I think they feed off of it, rather than offer a few open minded suggestions, and watch for the outcome.
The training wheels are off, let go of the bike!
When we call our parent (s) as adults to vent out frustration, we do not need them freaking out over things, or telling us which path to take, how to raise our kids, or how to handle a situation...but to LISTEN...we are adults.
As an adult, I have a choice of who is in my life. As a child, family is family, you stick together... (you are stuck!) As an adult, I do not have to have anyone in my life that does not fit... I believe in accepting people for who they are, so long as who they are is not harmful to me or my family. Criticism of my family, or how we run it...it is toxic, and toxins kill...so I am forced to kill toxic relationships before they harm the relationships that matter most, those being with my husband and kids.
I am not a religious person by any means, but I PRAY when my kids are grown, that I am happy and content in my life! I PRAY my marriage is more important to me, than what is going on with my neighbors, or my kids day to day life... I always want to be a part of my children's lives, but I don't want to make their adult lives more important than my own!