I do hope that one day he will come back into my life. I want to be an Auntie to little miss Nora, and my kids want to welcome their new baby cousin into the world as well. A new baby is supposed to be an exciting time, but I am finding I am quite sad. I hope eventually I get to hold her and love on her!! Ryatt, I doubt you read this-but if you ever do, I will always love you.
I only hope that by becoming a daddy you see that having children makes you do crazy things. I hope you grow into an amazing father, that your daughter ALWAYS comes first! Please, do not ever turn your back on your baby girl-no matter how old she is, she should always be your world. I promise to never judge your parenting style as long as you don't judge mine. Just always, always, put your baby first!
I promise to love you and your baby from a distance, and hope we get to be together again soon.
So, onto less depressing stuff. (maybe still a little depressing??)
I know life is good. There are gaps in "my world" but my kids work daily at filling those gaps. My husband tells me every day that I am exactly what he wants, that I am enough, that he loves me...it is quite sad that I need him to say these things, but I do.
I often get criticized, (never very directly) for my parenting style. I know I am not "perfect" but nobody is! It seems (family/not so nice "friends") like to compare themselves to me, and maybe they just need someone to hate on, I really do not know. I know I am doing what is right for MY kids. I know MY kids are happy. Funny, people say they hate me, yet they find themselves on my google+ page, or on my blog!! Truth-you cannot truly HATE Tamika, and say you love Zariah, Zarina, or Torrin... they are ME!! You cannot look into my kids eyes and not see me-trust me-it is me you will see!
I had posted something onto google+ about Easter (GAH-Easter already?? didn't we just finish up Christmas?) The reason I posted it is because I had family ALREADY mentioning Easter shopping and planning! It seems (I knew this would happen) people think they know MY kids better than I do. Well, hate to break it to you, but you do not know my kids better than me, nope...sorry-sad for you. I will post my "post" below, feel free to give your take on it if you stumbled onto my blog today!!
This was my posting:
I know Easter is a ways away...but the girls and I were talking about gifts that they ended up regifting or exchanging because (though they were nice) they were not something the kids would actually play with.
We love everyone that buys for the kids! even the kids (they are so darn smart!) hate to see people waste their hard earned money on "junk" they will never play with....that said...here is a list of things they TRULY want and would make good Easter gifts...feel free to skip Easter basket all together if the list isn't what you are looking for, the kids get plenty from the Easter bunny!
Please don't buy clothes, the girls would rather go pick out their own at the thrift store or on a clearance rack...it is better to have them try things in anymore!
As for candy, enjoy life makes dfgf decent chocolate bars, and also bags of chocolate chunks (cheaper on amazon).
Burnstads sells gum that is free of chemicals and aspartame! They also have organic gummies the kids enjoy. Heck, a box of king Arthur's brand gf flour (walmart $6) and a bag of chocolate chunks ($23 for 6 pack On amazon) the kids will know it means I will make them cookies!!
Please, help us avoid more plastic and junk coming into our home. There are very few toys the kids actually continue to play with day after day that are plastic. They have more than enough Legos now...please no more Legos!
Safe, decent made soap (lusa organics), felted decent soap (they like the stuff I got!) even better, get the good lusa soap, and the felting supplies so we can felt it together!
Gift certificates for Symons, roller skating, movie theater...any activities that get us out of the house.
Homemade bubbles! Skip the store bought ones, decorate the bottle...they will love it!
"Toys" they really want and will actually play with
Schleich figurines...we have a lot of them so I will list the ones they really want
-zebra, or zebra family
They do not need a ton of these as we already have a lot, one per child is more than enough. The good heavy ones run 12-30$ each.
I am posting pics of the ones they have, the German Shepard does have a baby pup that is missing from picture. We like the big heavy schleich ones, not the smaller ones. Mostly zoo and Dino animals.
(I am planning one for each kids from Easter bunny...)
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Not so bad, right?
I am offering suggestions.
We have an amazon list that everyone has access to as well!
Now, to be honest:
The reason I made the post is that my kids got some great gifts for Christmas. They also got some gifts that were NEVER on their radar and THEY chose to return! Zariah actually opened a Monster High doll thinking "oh cool" and later, got it home-set it on her shelf-and hasn't touched it since! I asked if they had ANYTHING to donate or toss (we were in major cleaning mode) and she suggested the doll! I had to remind her that it was NEW-she JUST got it, and that maybe we should keep it. I do not want my kids to be so casual about disposing of things. When you have less, you can appreciate it SO much more! There are "things" that come into our lives, that when they are gone-we do not even miss them! I hate to see people spend their hard earned money on junk my kids forget about 5 minutes after they get it!
The girls are also at an age where they like to pick their own clothes, and clothes are damn expensive *and cheaply made to boot!*
Now, I KNOW my girls refuse to wear tight pants that have zippers at the ankle, also that Zariah HATES leggings 9 out of 10 times (if she has a cute skirt she MIGHT wear leggings if she has cute boots that match)
Also, my kids have tiny booties and long long legs, so most clothes do need to be tried on or they get returned for being too big in the waste or too short in the legs. We returned 4 pair of pants this year-luckily the slips were kept, so it wasn't too hard to do.
My girls (ON THEIR OWN) said they did not want pants, they wanted to use the money to get some of those darn figurines that they LOVE so much. They agreed if any cash was left over, it should go towards gymnastics. I asked the girls what an acceptable amount of figurines was to purchase at one time, reminding them that they didn't need EVERY figurine, and they decided how many to purchase.
Also, Zarina got a second lego set for Chritmas-the same one she got already on Christmas-so I have to have Vicki return it. I know me making a list is less personal than people picking random stuff out on their own, but I do know my kids, and I know what they will or will not play with. My making a list, HELPS YOU! Keep in mind-YOU do not need to buy things for my kids, they get plenty from Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Nathan and myself. Even if the grandparents did not gift one single thing (which will never happen...) the kids have more than enough!
They love swimming...
None of my kids are deprived of material things, they have more than they could need. They also are KIDS, they enjoy BEING KIDS, doing THINGS. My children do not need to sit on their asses in front of a computer screen, or a tv or video game system to be happy. They are content playing and pretending, and READING!!! So, what I ask from you-anyone reading this-do not judge how I parent these amazing kids. I know I am doing a great job. I know my kids better than you do!
Both girls got legos for Christmas, from their Grandparents-they thought they were SO COOL-they put them together one time...then put them away, and guess what, they haven't touched them since! Why on earth should I hang onto stuff that they do not play with? They have Nathan's legos from when he was a kid-and they play with them when HE plays with them. They love legos when Daddy plays-but it is not the legos they are enjoying-it is their time with their father. These kids have taught me that quality time means way more to them than material things.
What I need from everyone that wants to be a part of my life...of my children's lives is this:
-stop judging ME-what I am doing is right for us
-stop criticizing ME-my kids love me just the way I am-hating on me will make them hate you
-stop checking out my blog or google + if you don't like what you see
-stop buying junk, stop buying junk food, just stop...don't ask me if it can be JUST THIS ONCE-accept that I am their mother and I do know what makes them feel icky and what they will not play with more than once
See the beauty in each day-that is my resolution. I see my children every day-I do see the beauty. By ignoring the haters-I can ignore the ugly.